Why do couples go to counseling?

Couples counseling can be of great benefit to relationships that are experiencing challenges. Some couples attend counseling on a periodic basis as a form of “relationship tune-up” because they feel that their love for one another is certainly just as important on the maintenance they perform for their vehicles and home. Regardless of the motivation that initially brings couples to counseling, many emerge with a renewed sense of purpose for their relationship. If you would like to rekindle the passion and excitement that has mellowed over time, or if you and your partner are experiencing a “rough patch” then couples counseling, like counseling in Palatine, IL from Lotus Wellness Center, may be of benefit to you.

Here are but a few of the reasons why couples commonly engage a couples counseling therapist:

Resolving Differences between the Partners Has Become Difficult to Impossible

Sometimes, the insight of a compassionate and skilled couples therapist can make all the difference when attempting to resolve issues and longstanding arguments. Even more importantly, a couples counseling therapist can provide partners with the tools they need to resolve their conflicts on their own as they move forward. It is similar to the parable of teaching someone to fish rather than providing them with fish. The couple can work toward independence of a couples counseling therapist and use the skills they learned in therapy for the rest of their lives.

Resentment, Bitterness, or Spitefulness is Tainting the Relationship

It is an aspect of human nature that if someone is hurt, they may wish to lash out at the person they perceive as having hurt them. The target of their negativity may in turn direct their own negativity at that person. This creates a downward cycle of mistrust, hurt, anger, and other destructive feelings and behaviors. It is often unrecoverable if both partners do not stop and change direction to move toward one another as they did in the beginning of the relationship. Couples counseling can cut through the pain and perceptions to focus on the source of the negativity. By dealing with the underlying issues, the perpetual warring can be mitigated. If the source of the issues has made it impossible for one or both partners to trust the other, couples counseling can help ease the transition toward ending the relationship in a way that is less hostile. This is important in any case, but if there are children involved, it can be essential for moving forward and co-parenting in the new paradigm.

Separating is the Only Viable Option

Not every couple is meant to live happily forever. As difficult as this truth is, if and when there comes a point that both partners agree to end the relationship, couples counseling can provide the avenue for a healthier end to one type of relationship and the beginning of another. In advance of filing divorce papers for the marriage or a legally recognized common law marriage, it is beneficial to already have mutual agreement on such issues as child support, child custody, and spousal support.